October celebrates all things autumn and spooky. Businesses hang ghostly decorations, pumpkin patches open with fun activities, and scary movies become more prominent on Netflix and other streaming services. Even at school, children make Halloween crafts or plan their trick-or-treating costumes.
But what do you do if your child is afraid of Halloween?
Not all kids love haunted houses or scary costumes. They may fear masks because they can’t see or predict the face behind them, which can make them feel like something harmful might happen. Many may freak out when they see ghosts, spiders, skeletons, or witches that decorate shops and houses. The decorations themselves might look scary, but the idea that something gruesome might come and hurt them is even more frightening.
It’s not always rational, and you can’t solve their fear simply by talking to them about facts. If your child is scared of Halloween every year, here are a few ways to help.
Don’t Downplay Their Fears
Many kids have unrealistic fears about many different things, like the monster under their bed or in the closet, or the dark. However, though their fear may be unfounded, the anxiety they feel is real. Trying to reason with them or shame them for being afraid won’t help alleviate their stress.
They might fear masks and costumes, decorations, approaching strangers for candy, or even going out to trick-or-treat at night. No matter what they fear, listen to them and keep communication open. Assure them that you understand and hear their worries, that you’re there to keep them safe, and that it’s OK to be afraid sometimes. Even if they still feel anxious, saying their fears out loud and knowing you are there to protect them can help them feel much safer.
Avoid Scary Decorations & Activities
You might not be able to avoid every house on the block decorated for Halloween, but you can at least avoid putting up spooky décor at home. Maybe your child freaks out about monsters and ghosts, but they might like pumpkins and leaves. Decorate your house with those instead, and have your kids help you put up friendly Halloween décor.
Even if you love haunted houses, scary movies, pumpkin carving, and corn mazes, keep your frightened child in mind when choosing family activities. Instead of doing traditional Halloween things, you can do other fall activities, like attending a fall festival or talking to them about compromises you can make together.
If one child doesn’t want to go trick-or-treating but another does, coordinate with friends or family so both kids can do the activities they enjoy. Another way to help a child who is afraid of trick-or-treating is to go with another adult or older children. When older kids go first, they show younger ones what to do and can weed out neighbors or teens waiting to jump out at trick-or-treaters.
Prepare Your Kid In Advance
Halloween comes around at the same time every year, and most kids start to expect it, especially when they see decorations and candy at Target and Walmart. When the time comes, you can use October to prepare them for the holiday by letting them know what to expect.
You can look at costumes together, plan fun family activities they are comfortable with, and watch kid-friendly Halloween movies or videos. It’s also a good time to talk to them about their fears and gauge what they’re OK with and what scares them.
Keep Expectations Low
Manage your own expectations as you prepare for Halloween. Even if you love the holiday, don’t let your excitement overshadow your child’s fears. You might need to skip the haunted house or trick-or-treating, so expect that and don’t feel too disappointed. Maybe next year or the year after that, they’ll come to love it!
When it comes to trick-or-treating, kids might feel thrilled to pick out their costume, plead for a specific (and pricey!) outfit, and then end up not wearing it because trick-or-treating is too scary. They might feel like it’s not what they wanted after all and refuse to wear it.
After spending money and time on their costume, there’s nothing more frustrating than seeing them reject it. However, be flexible and keep your expectations low before you go to get their costumes. Kids can be unpredictable, especially when they have a love-hate relationship with Halloween.
Halloween is a great holiday for those who love free candy and dressing up. Even if your kid is afraid of spooky things, who can resist free sweets?
Is your child afraid of Halloween? Let us know how you handle it by leaving a reply!
Emily currently lives in Orange County, California after spending four years in Illinois and half a year teaching in Florence, Italy. She holds a B.A. in English Literature from Knox College and an M.A. in Counseling from the University of San Diego and has taught English to native speakers and ESL students for over three years. When she’s not working as a School Counselor or writing, she enjoys traveling the world, playing instruments, and blogging about Millennial experiences at Long Live the Twenties.