As the parent, adjusting to the addition of another child can also challenge a parent’s emotions.
Another parent interviewed by this writer said, “It has been an adjustment to having this second child.” This meant her time for herself had to be adjusted. Also she noticed the first child was saddened by the decrease in personal attention.
This parent found the challenge emotionally affected both herself and also other children. She needed to adjust her expectation of time she had for her own needs to take on an additional family member. Her first child, her daughter also was no longer the center of attention. Sharing attention with a sibling is a growing experience.
At first, parents will be physically tired from the demands of a new infant, plus managing the first child. According to KidsHealth, parents often feel that love has doubled when the second child is born. They also report that the first child may feel jealous or resentful of sharing attention with the new family member.
This parent found once she learned to organize her chores and taught the first child to share and care for the new baby, their home life developed a new sense of order. Siblings have the advantage of learning to share at a young age. This skill prepares them for school and social skills that will carry them well into their lives.
Staying with what’s good with the expectations we have with our children shows our love for them. Being honest with our feelings helps our children to do the same.
The individuality between our children can challenge a parent’s emotions. Being honest with our feelings is what one parent discussed with this writer. Her son had ADHD, but before it was diagnosed, she felt sad about downgrading her expectations of the child. She took him to the doctor. They watched her son climb up on a chair, turn off the light, climb down, walk about, climb up on the chair, turn on the light…etc…she said this episode repeated many times. Then she said to the doctor, “Do you think there’s a developmental problem?”
After visiting the doctor and a proper diagnosis was obtained, staying with the good, this mother set new goals and expectations for her son. He grew to become a healthy, happy contributor to society. She said, “Let them know you love them at every turn.” Sometimes when disciplining our children, they may ask, “Don’t you love me anymore?” Of course we love them, this is why we are shaping them. “So, let them know you love them every step of the way and that you also will always be there for them,” this mother said.
This mother said there is quite a difference between her two sons. One is a happy garbage collector. He’s been at the same position for over ten years and is very happy at this company. The other son obtained a master’s degree from a university. The principal effort on the mother’s part was to love them the same despite their differences.