Becoming a parent is one of the most pivotal changes a human can experience. As new parents, there is initial anticipation building up during the pregnancy, then an infant arrives, and we fumble to navigate the changing needs while sleep-deprived and fatigued. We try our best to tend to all the needs of this tiny infant while figuring out how to stay healthy ourselves. Some families have support from a spouse and/or extended family members, some are equipped with years of experience in caregiving, and others are brand new. In that first crucial year of infancy and newborn life, there’s a lot going on, and we try our best. There is also a plethora of information and articles we can read ourselves into ad nauseum to support, prove, or disprove anything we may be concerned about. I will never forget breastfeeding my first child, thinking to myself that the smartphone would never compete with their needs, and then literally dropping the phone on my infant’s head at the same time.
As new parents, we took our child to all the recommended office visits. I expressed concerns about my child’s excessive arm flapping during the six-month office visit. Our family doctor’s knee-jerk response was AUTISM. As a new parent, hearing that word was terrifying. She gave me a path through the county for an assessment. I went home and awkwardly made the necessary phone calls to schedule an initial screening, which occurred three months later in our home when my child was nine months old.
In those three months leading up to that appointment- I talked myself in and out of the possibilities of impact on our life, and the question of autism could be our journey. When the trained professionals arrived, I was awkward and downplayed my concern. Also, as it turns out, my little people completely skipped crawling and went straight from getting on their knees rocking to upright and running- no joke! Mobility was not a concern at this stage. Without much more to go on at that point, our evaluation concluded. The kind people expressed support and a reminder that it is always ok to reach out again later as development progresses should there be any other concerns or questions. Then, bam, I was pregnant again in another high-risk geriatric pregnancy and had a second child with a sibling who was 19 months old. As time continued, my fears got lost. Although we struggled in some areas, there was simply too much to tend even to stop and reflect until the first weeks of preschool, when right off the bat, the teachers reported difficulties. Recalling the kindness expressed in that initial screening, I returned to early childhood intervention. The preschool teacher was so sweet and sensitive with me about the topic, and when she recommended that I seek medical assistance, the ball was already rolling.
We were extraordinarily fortunate to get through the paperwork process quickly in 4 months, from the county and health care field, with a formal diagnosis just a month before the pandemic. At that point, my child was 3.5, and I felt terrible for all the time we missed without receiving services. Now, I see it as a true blessing that we embarked at that age. The process of opting into ABA (Applied Behavioral Analysis) for treatment and the time commitment was a hurdle but one of the very best decisions of my entire parenting journey. With early intervention, we could work at home, in a park, or at a grocery store at our own pace based on individual needs and our own timeline.
Although it was intimidating at first, the results have been life-changing for me, my child, his sibling, peers, and the community. It was extremely important to walk into kindergarten with the tools to communicate and advocate effectively to build an IEP plan. We have leaned on a variety of resources over the years to develop a healthy, thriving home life and existence.
For any families in question about developmental delays, I am a huge proponent of confronting the fears with professionally trained specialists who will work with you to meet individualized needs and get intervention services earlier rather than later. While each human is uniquely and beautifully different, it never hurts to reach out and ask anytime there is a question. Autism awareness has expanded my understanding of life and relationships in a variety of ways, all leading to more support, patience, kindness, and love.
