Emotional intelligence has emerged as one of the most important predictors of a child’s long-term success, socially, academically, and even professionally. Many modern-day parents feel unsure about where to begin when it comes to teaching their kids about emotions. Here in the Pacific Northwest, a region that prides itself on wellness and community, families are uniquely positioned to model emotional awareness in ways that feel natural and grounded. It’s truly our Ethos to nurture nature’s subtleties. By weaving simple, intentional practices into our family’s daily routines, parents can help their children build the emotional skills they need to thrive. Oregon Kid put together a guide based on research that we hope will bring you closer and more connected to your families this holiday.
Children’s Emotional Intelligence (EI) Core Skills.
Emotional hacking skills you can teach your kids:
- Emotion labeling (“name it to tame it”)
- Empathy building through play, stories, and reflective conversations: this also includes musicals, theater, dance and storytelling:
- Self-regulation strategies (breathing, grounding, sensory tools) – see upcoming article in Oregon Kid for an expanded guide)
- Growth mindset & resilience during conflict or frustration (see upcoming article on building resilience in Oregon Kid for an expanded guide)
- Social awareness (understanding perspectives, cultural sensitivity-) This includes cultural celebrations, connection to Spiritual an Religious Practices, and participating in public rallies for social justice, and cultural experiences outside of your own community
What to Say When Kids Shut Down Emotionally:
When a child withdraws, parents often push for answers—or give up. Instead, try a gentler approach: validate the feeling, hold space, process together, then redirect when they’re ready.
Try saying: “It’s okay to feel upset. I’m right here when you want to talk.”
This teaches kids that emotional openness is safe, even when they’re not ready to talk yet.
Coaching Emotional Problem-Solving (Instead of “Fixing” It)
Parents want to protect their kids, but over-fixing can unintentionally prevent emotional growth. Instead, guide children through the steps of understanding a problem. Start with validation, help identify the emotion, then brainstorm solutions together. This empowers children to solve future challenges with confidence.
Helpful Scripts to Build Emotional Vocabulary:
Scripts give parents language to model healthy communication. A few simple phrases go a long way:
- “It seems like you’re feeling…, is that right?”
- “Your feelings make sense.”
- “Let’s take a breath together.”
- “What do you need right now—space, a hug, or help?”
Teaching emotional intelligence is a lifelong gift. With consistent modeling, patience, and small daily moments of connection, families can raise children who are not only emotionally aware but also resilient, compassionate, and ready to navigate the world with confidence.
Why This Matters in 2026:
- Increased child anxiety and behavioral challenges post-pandemic
- Teachers reporting kids struggling with conflict resolution
- Parents are actively looking for simple, daily EI habits they can apply at home
Wellness Apps Tailored to Families: Helpful Tech
You can easily establish yourself as a partner guide that translates tech into real emotional benefit for your kids. Some ideas to support that are:
- Find Mindfulness apps for kids (breathing games, bedtime meditation)
- Download Family mood-tracking apps with shared check-ins
- Use Anxiety tools (journals, grounding exercises, trauma-sensitive)
- Find Neurodivergent-friendly tools for students with greater needs (visual schedules, sensory breaks)
- Research Parent-only apps for stress, burnout, and emotional self-care
- Define your own “Healthy screen time: using technology to strengthen—not replace—emotional skills” within your family
Teaching Families How to Have Open Emotional Conversations
This is one of the most powerful things you can offer because it ties everyone in the family together with intention.
- Schedule daily emotional check-ins (1–3 minutes each)
- Use the “pause → reflect → respond” method during conflicts
- Reinforce vulnerability through shared stories
- Strive to create a family “emotional culture”
- Normalize talking about feelings, even the uncomfortable ones
Practical Tools You Can Share
- Conversation starters
(“What was a moment today that made you feel proud/scared/overwhelmed?”) - A “feelings menu” for kids with visual icons
- Scripts:
(“I’m here to help you figure this out, not judge you.”) - Create a safe spaces free of correction, criticism, or shame
Powerful Family Practices to Promote
- Emotion check-in at dinner
- A PDX ETHOS CLASSIC: “Rose, Bud, Thorn” (best moment, future hope, hardest moment)
- 2-minute mindfulness together before bed
Keep in mind that every family will respond differently to different methods. My advice is that you should read and research these methods to apply what works for your unique family needs, leaving behind what doesn’t resonate with you. Any type of growth or intelligence can be uncomfortable at first, it takes effort and is not always easy. Emotions can be scary, but as mindful parents, we have an obligation to set our children up to be able to handle whatever uncertain societal obstacles life throws at them. Just remember … fellow parents: We got this.
Crystal Bauer Feldman is a Portland writer and community advocate focused on culture, inclusion, and family life.