As our little kids grow from playing with cars to teenagers who drive them, they naturally seek greater independence in all areas. They will inevitably want to stay later with friends, attend events, or simply enjoy the freedom of unscheduled time. For many families, this transition marks the introduction of a curfew. While teens may see curfews as restrictive, they are grounded in safety, trust-building, and teaching responsibility.

In our family, the curfew conversation began during our son’s freshman year of high school. He was having some friends over, and around 11 pm, a few girls wanted to come by, and the boys wanted to walk them home. We froze! We didn’t know what to do. What was our curfew? How did that affect other kids coming over? What did the law say? We ended up doing a crash course in Oregon law just to answer our first questions about curfews. Since then, we’ve established clear rules. But now that our son is a senior, the curfew negotiations have started all over again.

So let’s explore more about curfews, why they are essential, what the law says, how to set them, how to enforce them, 

Why Curfews Are Important

Safety First
Teenagers are statistically more likely to be involved in car accidents, assaults, or other risky situations at night. A curfew reduces late-night exposure to these dangers by limiting unsupervised activities after dark.

Establishing Boundaries
Clear expectations give teens structure. Boundaries can actually make teens feel more secure, even when they test those boundaries, because they know what is expected of them.

Promoting Responsibility
Meeting curfews teaches time management, accountability, and respect for rules. These are valuable life skills that extend into adulthood.

Fostering Sleep and Mental Health
Teens often struggle with getting enough rest. Consistent curfews can encourage better sleep habits, which support their academic performance, mood, and overall well-being.

Encouraging Communication
When curfews are the result of family conversations, not top-down mandates, they become a tool for trust, not just restriction.

Curfews and the Law in Oregon

In our house, we started with the law. We did the same when we started leaving our children home alone.

When Can Kids Be Left Home Alone?

Did you know that Oregon does not have a specific law that defines a minimum age to be left home alone? While some resources cite age 10, the legal benchmark is based on the child’s maturity and the circumstances. According to Oregon Revised Statutes (ORS 163.545 & 163.547), parents can be held responsible if leaving a child home alone constitutes neglect.

Parents should consider:

  • Maturity level
  • Length of time alone
  • Safety of the environment
  • Ability to contact a trusted adult

What Are Oregon Youth Curfew Ordinances?

Some Oregon cities have youth curfew ordinances. In Portland, curfew hours vary by age and whether it’s a school night. For children under the age of 14, the curfew is from 9:15 p.m. to 6:00 a.m. on school nights, and from 10:15 p.m. to 6:00 a.m. on nights before non-school days. For teens aged 14 to 17 who have started high school, the curfew is from 10:15 p.m. to 6:00 a.m. on school nights, and from 12:00 a.m. (midnight) to 6:00 a.m. on non-school nights. Here is the wording on the curfew for more context. So for our teen, we have a 10 pm weekday curfew and a midnight weekend curfew.  Some curfews include exceptions for school, work, church events, or for minors under probation with court or parole officer approval.

How to Set an Effective Curfew

Taking the law of your city into consideration, here are some other guidelines to help you set an effective curfew for your kids. 

Make It Age-Appropriate
A 13-year-old will likely need an earlier curfew than a 17-year-old. Consider your teen’s age, maturity level, activities, and your family’s comfort level.

Involve Your Teen in the Process
Ask for their input. Even if you don’t agree, including them in the discussion builds mutual respect and makes them more likely to honor the rules.

Be Clear and Consistent
Define expectations for school nights, weekends, and special events. For example:

  • School nights: home by 10:00 p.m.
  • Weekends: home by 11:30 p.m.

Oh, and some families are moving to a “leave by” time. If your child has to leave by 11:30 pm, you aren’t worried about them rushing home or engaging in dangerous behavior to “make” curfew. 

Factor in Flexibility
Make room for exceptions. Special events like school dances or concerts might call for a later curfew. Being flexible shows you’re willing to work with them, not against them. And you will need to revisit the curfew as your teen matures. 

Discuss Consequences in Advance
Don’t wait until curfews are broken to establish consequences. Set expectations ahead of time so discipline feels fair, not reactive.

Handling Pushback or Missed Curfews

Testing boundaries is normal teenage behavior. They will likely want to miss curfew, extend it, or eliminate it. Be prepared for the debates!  But if your teen is late and has not communicated with you, there are some tips and tricks to navigate that. 

  • Stay Calm:
    “You were 30 minutes late…what happened?”
    Focus on the behavior, not a personal flaw.
  • Use Natural Consequences:
    If they stayed out late with friends, perhaps next weekend they will stay in. If they used the car, maybe they will walk next time.
  • Be Open to Adjustment:
    If your teen regularly honors their curfew, show your trust with small extensions. Repeated issues? Reinforce the boundary and explain why.

Final Thoughts

A curfew isn’t just about controlling your teen, even though you may want to control them from time to time. A curfew is about helping them grow into a responsible adult. Done well, curfews teach boundaries, foster open communication, and build a foundation of mutual respect. As your teen proves their readiness, your approach can evolve, but the key is staying connected and keeping the conversation going.