College applications and their intricate process can be stressful. On top of that, just when you think that you have nailed down all that is required, new guidelines are put in place. Locking down appropriate financial aid, while figuring out all other economic factors such as housing, food, shelter, etc., can add to the stress. The best piece of advice I can offer regarding college readiness is to prepare early. Every year, the rules and regulations change, and every university has its requirements in addition to this. The earlier you and your future college student prepare for this next stage of life, the better and smoother the process will be. Keep an open, ongoing conversation with your teenager. Ensure that you remain a team, working towards the goal of getting them successfully sent off to university.
There are many options available to a recent high school graduate. Joining the military, attending university, going to trade school, and entering the workforce are all fine options. What it comes down to is what is the best choice for them at that moment, and for their future. What seems to be left out of this discussion is that it is possible to take on more than one of these options. In my more formative years, I worked full-time while also attending university full-time. While that was more of a necessity than an option, it shows that we as humans are not as limited as we might think. You and your teen know what is best for them, and the most critical aspect is to be both responsible and honest with them. If it means that taking a route other than college is what’s best, then that is great. And if attending university is what’s best for them, then that is wonderful too.
If going to college is the better fit, then they must be adequately prepared for it. Whether it is staying local and starting at a community college or moving out of state and living in dorms, the environment will undergo a significant shift. Building responsible habits, from having a studying schedule to incorporating an evening routine before bed, will significantly contribute to their academic success. If a student has not developed these skills before attending college, it will be challenging to acquire them once the term has started. Meet with your teen to create an academic and social routine they can follow. They will be able to take these skills with them not only to university, but beyond their academic careers and into the workforce.
Check in regularly with them. Ask them how they’re feeling about their current classes and if there is anything you can do to assist them. Teens have a lot of pride, and as they get older, they want to prove they can do things on their own. Approach them in a supportive way; their response when you do this will be illuminating.
Applying for college is stressful, and as parents, it can be easy to feel overwhelmed for the sake of our kids. But always remember that this next chapter of life is theirs, and our role is to support them. Encourage self-reflection for your teen. Help them identify their strengths and goals, and explore how these can be effectively applied in their college applications. Researching colleges together is a great way to not only provide support, but also to help them gain valuable insight.
I believe it is crucial to foster their independence during this process. Yes, we need to help and guide our teens, but they also need to learn how to function as adults. Overbearing parents don’t exist at the college level in the same way they do in high school. Let your teen manage applications, emails, interviews, and so on. This will not only foster necessary life skills but will also help prepare them for the demands of university.
If your child has a desire to attend an Ivy League institution, there are some critical components to be aware of. I am a part of the arts departments and occasionally lecture at several Ivy League universities. I can say from firsthand experience that getting an acceptance letter from any one of them is difficult. If your teen has their sights set on one of these schools, then that is fantastic, and they should strive for it. Just know that the road to get there is a tough one. Here are my recommendations for applying to these schools. The average SAT score for these students is around 1520, while the average ACT score is 34. And the average high school GPA sits around a 3.9 to 4.2. In addition to this, your teen will most likely need to play a sport, join a club, and spend time regularly volunteering. Even if all of this is met, the average acceptance rate to an Ivy League university is only around 5%. If this is a goal for your teen, they will need support, patience, and understanding.
Attending a higher learning institution, whether it is a community college or the Ivy League, is an immense privilege. Education is truly a portal to gain a deeper understanding not only of ourselves, but also of the great minds that came before us. If you, as the parent, are stressed about your kid heading off to college, try to remember the extraordinary stress that they must be feeling. They will do great. Remember, you are there to help them reach their goal.
Education is a way to contextualize our existence and history. Be proud and excited that they have decided to walk this path.
Alex is a devoted husband and father born and raised in Portland, Oregon. He is a professional artist, author, and advisor for both Yale and Harvard University’s arts departments. His books, ‘Selling Leonardo: The Art World’s Greatest Scandal’ and ‘Holy Ghost: Decoding Leonardo da Vinci’s Final Painting’ are available wherever books are sold.