Kids all around the U.S. learn about the simple Thanksgiving story in school, the same one most of us have known since we were children. In the story, the Pilgrims, seeking religious freedom, sailed on the Mayflower and landed on Plymouth Rock, unprepared to face a cold and harsh winter. However, thanks to the Wampanoag tribe, the Pilgrims survived and adjusted to their new environment. Thanksgiving Day celebrates the union between the two new neighbors after a difficult winter, and we all remember to be more thankful for this one day each year.

However, there’s more to the story, and it’s not as heartwarming as it’s told. Though historically, schools have avoided teaching the more complicated and unjust conflict surrounding the Pilgrims and the Wampanoag tribe, many schools are beginning to see Thanksgiving as an opportunity to introduce the honest history and address systemic racism.

You may think your child is too young to hear the truth about the conflict between the Native Americans and the Pilgrims, but they can think critically about early history. It’s also an excellent opportunity to teach them how to empathize with and understand different perspectives. As a parent, it may feel difficult to explain the darker history behind Thanksgiving, so here are some tips to help make it easier.

Introduce the Wampanoag Perspective

The Thanksgiving story mainly focuses on the Puritans and their journey across the Atlantic Ocean, but it leaves out a lot of the history of the Wampanoag tribe that was there first and just came out of their struggles.

Before the European settlers arrived, the Wampanoag tribe was a nation comprised of 69 villages throughout what is now Massachusetts and Rhode Island. They frequently held feasts to give thanks to nature for bountiful harvests. However, due to new settlers arriving in their land years prior, the Native Americans suffered from plagues that wiped out entire villages and reduced them to a small population. When the Pilgrims landed on Plymouth Rock, the Wampanoag tribe conflicted with another Native American tribe and needed weapons, which the English could provide in exchange for food.

However, it took several months for the Wampanoag tribe to contact the Pilgrims. They were wary of these new settlers because people who looked like them had stolen their food before. The Native Americans observed them before deciding to reach out to help despite not speaking the same language or being part of the same culture.

You can discuss these two different perspectives of how the Wampanoag Native Americans might have felt seeing the new settlers and how the Pilgrims might have felt arriving in a new and harsh land. Remind your child that it’s important to remember there are always two valid sides to every story, including the story of Thanksgiving.

Make It Personal

Your kids may feel distant and disconnected from these discussions about history, but you can make it more personal by comparing it to modern experiences. For example, you can relate the COVID pandemic to the plague the Wampanoag tribe experienced to help children understand how devastating and frightening it was for them. In both cases, the virus was very contagious. It took many people’s lives, so the Native Americans were wary of the new settlers, just like many people were suspicious of strangers after quarantine.

Discussing the wariness of the Wampanoag tribe to reach out to the Pilgrims because of their prior experience and cultural differences can also make way for a conversation about making new friends and how difficult it can be to connect with someone who doesn’t speak the same language. However, you can talk about how being open to sharing and helping each other can make it easier to bridge any differences.

Share About the Conflicts Later to Come

The reality of the story is that, despite a treaty and feast shared between the two people groups, they would later engage in vicious war and oppression as more European settlers arrived. With younger children, you can tell them how the two groups would later fight, while with older children, you can discuss the oppression of Native Americans that started then and continues to this day.

It’s never too early to discuss ways to solve problems with others and be more inclusive with your child. Inclusivity is essential to introduce to children even at a young age so they can grow up to become caring and empathetic adults. 

But Don’t Forget the Spirit of Thanksgiving

When your child hears more about the darker side of the Pilgrims and Wampanoag Native Americans, they may start wondering why we even celebrate Thanksgiving in the first place. However, it’s important to remind them that the purpose of this day, when Abraham Lincoln proclaimed it as a national holiday in 1863, was to encourage American people to set apart a specific day to be thankful for what we have and remember those who are less fortunate.

Though the entire history surrounding the Thanksgiving story is darker than what we learn in school, don’t let your family lose sight of the spirit of thankfulness during this holiday. List things you’re grateful for as a family or look for an opportunity to serve the less fortunate or oppressed during this holiday season.