After having a child, women can feel completely different in their bodies and need time to recover. Most midwives and doctors advise waiting about 4-6 weeks after giving birth to have sex to allow your body to heal, but every woman is different. It’s important for you to be patient and allow for recovery time as you adapt to having a new baby in the home. 

However, as your kids grow up, it can be difficult to maintain your sex life. Between work, afterschool activities, kids running around the house, social engagements, and lack of sleep, finding alone time for you and your partner may not feel like the biggest priority. However, it’s important to maintain a healthy sex life even if it takes a little more work than before. 

If you’re looking for ways to rekindle your sex life after having kids, here are a few tips to get you started. 

Schedule Date Nights

Scheduling date nights and sex might not seem romantic, but it can help you make crucial time for much-needed intimacy. Find a day and time when you can leave the kids with family members or a sitter and have a night out (or a night in!) to focus on each other. Scheduling in advance gives you time to find someone to watch your kids without feeling stressed about making last-minute plans.

However, you don’t need to take the spontaneity completely out of your relationship. If your partner likes surprises, you can plan a romantic night or have a quickie in the car or in a different part of the house while the kids are taking a nap. 

Get Out Of The House

Getting out of the house to have sex can alleviate worries about waking up the kids, doing chores, or getting everything done on your to-do list. Leave the kids with a family member or overnight sitter for the night and book a room at a hotel close by or in a nearby city. You can do activities you enjoy together during the day and then have a romantic date night with worry-free hotel sex. The best part is you don’t need to clean up the room afterward!

Even if a nice hotel is out of your budget, you can always book a cheaper room at a motel to have a romantic night of sex just to get out of the house and then return home afterward. But if booking a hotel or hiring a sitter is out of your budget, you can always sneak in a quickie in the car, bathroom, or laundry room. 

Try Changing Things Up

Over time, doing the same things over and over can cause your love life to start feeling stale. To avoid that, shake things up a bit. You can play sexy games or try roleplaying. It might feel silly or cheesy at first, but it can become fun when you and your partner commit. You can also create a list of sexual fantasies or things you want to try or are open to and another list of things that are absolutely not on the table. Get creative with it!

Trying new things doesn’t need to become a big deal to spice up your sex life. Bring it up to your partner casually and talk about things you would be open to trying together to shake things up a little or a lot, depending on your comfort level. 

Seek Local Resources

If you and your partner have trouble rekindling your sex life, don’t be afraid or ashamed to seek outside help from local resources and sex therapists. Sometimes getting help from a trained professional can expand your horizons and perspectives on your sex life. 

In Portland, there are several resources available that you can check out to get some guidance on how to maintain your sexual relationship. 

Final Thoughts

Maintaining your sex life after kids might take more work than before. However, don’t let it become a chore or another thing to add to your to-do list. Though you may need to make time for it, let your sex life be fun and enjoyable as it was before. The important thing is to make sure you and your partner are connecting intimately to keep your relationship strong for years to come.